thoughts from a jiu-jitsu company

Tonight after class, while changing out of my gi, I witnessed the most frightening, and horrific sight that these eyes have ever witnessed, something that will haunt me for the rest of my days, something so disturbing and grotesque I can barely bring myself to write about it. There, in the finely sewn crotch of my gi pants, lie a shit stain. Yep, a Hershey squirt, a skid mark, the chocolate inch-worm. I couldn’t believe it, I thought for an instant to smell it to make sure, but I just couldn’t do it.

What the hell? How did this shit happen? (pun intended). In twelve years of doing jiu-jitsu I have never had a poop stain on my gi—never. The irony is, during class, we were talking about poop stains and lo’ and behold unbeknownst to me, I had a poop stain of my own. I must have had a tremendous wedgie or something because how in the hell could I get a poop stain through my boxers?

Now that I think about it, it must be karma. Yes that’s it, it’s karma for mocking the sacred sloth and it’s month long poop-a-thon. I know that’s it. Sorry Mr. Sloth.

Why am I writing about this? Why am I putting my shame out to the universe? Well, because I’m human and humans sometimes leave poop stains on their clothing and also to remind myself that shit happens, and when shit happens we have to deal with it.

*I’ve got to go down stairs and add more bleach to my load.

I would also like to let my students and training partners know that I will make sure that I have a clean bum before I step a foot on the mat. God bless, and all hail to the sacred sloth.

Comments

3 Responses to “Sorry Mr. Sloth”

  1. Jason on February 3rd, 2010 11:56 pm

    LOL, I never noticed. I always tell my wife “Don’t cook anything that will make me sorry at class”. Never anything with beans! It makes you wonder if the Gracie Diet is more about avoiding embarrassment then helping you be a super athlete.

  2. Administrator on February 4th, 2010 3:32 am

    I was mortified, but life goes on.

  3. thekillerj on February 4th, 2010 6:01 am

    That’s disgusting, but I have to respect posting that on your blog. Blech! haha

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