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Jul
21
Fight Club, Honesty, and Ego
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Fight Club was a good movie. I liked it because it was about more than fighting. One of my favorite scenes in the movie was when Edward Norton (or was it Brad Pit?) told the Fight Club members to pick a fight with a stranger and lose on purpose—great scene. That would be tough on your ego, and I think that was the point.
I like writing this blog because it’s a way for me to examine my own thinking, to solidify thought, to mold the jello of memory, opinion, and knowledge into something tangible—in a sense to become more enlightened by experience. That brings me back to the movie Fight Club. I don’t know that I could pick a fight with someone and lose on purpose. It’s not honest.
I know of jiu-jitsu instructors that tap to their students on purpose just to make them feel better, or to encourage them, when they’re getting frustrated. I don’t agree with that. I will try my hardest not to tap. I will not tap if I can help it. Now here is the hypocrisy, I tell my students “Everyone taps. If you get caught in a move, tap, don’t be so proud,” and yet I try my hardest not to tap.
I don’t think it’s my ego (but I’m not sure, it could be), but I don’t like the idea of giving someone a false victory. If someone I roll with taps me, I’m telling you right now, it’s not because I gave it to you. I tried like hell not to tap—if you made me tap you earned it. I think that’s honest. It could be ego, but I like to think not, I like to think of it as being an honest competitor.
On the mat, I give no gifts, only enlightenment through defeat.
I would like to know your opinion on this. Is it okay to tap to someone who you gave the victory to? I really don’t know, so I would like to hear some opinions.
As an instructor i think its important to use it for the correct purpose.
The correct purpose is to prevent injury, to reinforce a students proper technique in stages as a resistant training partner.
I think too often people see tapping as succumbing to another persons will over us. In the Dojo its a place of growing on the street its a place of recognition in most peoples minds. Its best not to confuse the two and to let insecurities take over.
As an instructor its important that you as well receive the proper resistant training partner. Sometimes in your own Dojo its not the best place, Do to business, Loyalties, and submissive personalities when dealing with a teacher -student relationship. but to attend a friends Dojo and receive a credible workout and resistance -jiu-jitsu chess routine.
I often when traveling drop into friends dojo’s around the world and get a good workout or “Tuneup” so to speak. When it comes to your Purple belts, then its time to extend the Boundaries and allow more competitive pressure. Provided both partners are keeping safety and insecurities in check.
I prefer a friendly 20 minute roll with 10 taps over a 10 minute roll with one tap and an injury and bad blood. No reason to kick each others ass.
I think that it is ok to let someone get position and give them advice to allow them to learn and feel good about their progress. BUT I HAAAATEE it when someone allows me to tap them. The thrill of the competition is the pure competition ( I have mentioned this several times). It is a cheap (and I don’t even consider it a victory) victory. Just my two cents
I think if you give them a victory you are giving them false hope, which in turn might bight them in the butt when it comes down to the real deal. Submitting someone is a process, if rushed could lead to bigger problems than just ego.
I gave a tap to somebody once. It was a kid 1/4 my size. He legitimately got me in an arm lock and nearly extended it. JiuJitsu gives enormous leverage benefit to smaller people, but I truly could have “curled” my way out of his arm lock.
I tapped instead. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but had his body weight been more than my arm which he was trying to lock he would have had me.